A date at last

One thing I forgot to add on that last post...Adam and I actually went on a date a few nights ago!! It was so much fun! My mom watched the boys and put them to bed, and we went out to dinner and to a movie.

Let me back up just a little. When our favorite Alaskans lived next door (June 2007-June 2008), we got absolutely spoiled in the childcare department. I think I speak for both families when I say that. And, actually, we did a lot of babysitting for each other even before they moved in next door, because our families have been quite close for almost four years now...but that one year in particular was blissful. Not that I appreciated the arrangement as much as I should have at the time - in every conceivable respect - but we knew enough to know we "had it good" where reliable babysitting was concerned, that's for sure!

So anyway, Adam and I hadn't been out, sans kiddos, since April or May. So we went to a new steakhouse/seafood restaurant we've always wanted to try - and it was awesome - and then to see the movie Fireproof. Great movie; I'd highly recommend it. We thought it was only slightly corny in a few places, mostly just in the way it all tied together so neatly. But the message was powerful and encouraging. We are hoping to buy it on DVD when it comes out so we can see it again! I won't say anything else about it so I don't ruin it for anyone...

My mom took this picture before we left, and mainly I wanted to post it to show that Adam and I do indeed live together in the same house, and occasionally even stand next to each other! Ha ha. I was looking through our pictures of late and realized that it looks like we don't like each other all that much, because we're never together in pictures! So, look...there we are!

Now, go talk to your spouse and make plans to see Fireproof!

Busy two weeks!

Ten days since my last post? Yikes! It's now the end of a busy couple of weeks! Here's a look at some of the highlights since I dropped off the face of the earth...

Grandpa and Levi playing outside

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Drake's class took a field trip to the pumpkin patch! Drake is in the middle row to the far right. It happened to fall on a Thursday morning, so I had to work, but our kind neighbor, Jennifer (Tyler's mom), gave my parents and Levi a ride to the pumpkin patch so they could be there with Drake. It made his day! And I think Grandpa and Grandma had a good time too!

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The last night Dad was here, we (Dad, Mom, Drake, and I) went mini golfing! It was great fun! One hole was particularly difficult for Drake, and after numerous (very numerous) hits, he finally got the ball in. He joyfully called out, "HOLE IN 250! NEXT!"

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My parents are aspiring Polka dancers, and so I got to learn a few of the steps from my dad. A lot of fun, and left me surprisingly out of breath!

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Adam and Dave dressed to impress...for a night of fishing, that is!

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Adam, Dave, and Drake went geocaching and came back with some pretty cool finds! (We need to do this more often. Lately we've gotten a bit out of the habit, but it's a cheap and super-fun family activity!)

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Since I didn't get to go on the pumpkin patch field trip, we went back a few days later (Grandma, the boys, and I) and picked out some pumpkins that we'll carve when it gets a little closer to Halloween.

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Grandma and Levi playing on the slide.

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Well, that wasn't the deepest and most thought-provoking post ever, but better than nothing at this point! So here are some of the logistics pertaining to all that random mumbo-jumbo: my parents arrived about two weeks ago, my dad left about a week ago, and my mom left yesterday. Our "TDY'd" friend Dave will be with us for two more weekends after this one before returning home to Alaska. I hope to be posting a little more frequently, now that life is returning to a slower pace. We have had a crazy - but awesome - past two weeks!

Beach pictures, and a fun visit!

We've been having a blast with my parents (Wyatt and Kathi) visiting! How many pictures I would love to post, but unfortunately that's not gonna happen unless I end up with a blogging lull sometime down the road and post them retroactively!

Mom and Dad arrived on Saturday night...Sunday we went to church, then to a local aquarium after lunch (way fun!), and then in the evening, Drake went to AWANA and earned two "jewels" for his vest in one night, and Adam and friend Dave watched the Seahawks vs. Packers game. The Seahawks lost. (That's a total shocker! Right?!?)

All this week we've been doing fun stuff in the afternoons/evenings, including a trip last night out to a favorite local restaurant of ours where we always go with out-of-town guests. It even has live gators in a pond, a playground, and a little gator "museum" of sorts. After Drake got off the school bus today, we headed for the beach, and then to McDonalds for a bit of a late supper. There have also been polka-dancing nights and game-playing nights, and plenty of book-reading by Grandpa and Grandma. So a fun time is being had by all.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the beach pictures I promised in the last post. (Unfortunately, that's all I've got time for right now, although you can imagine that some of the other before-mentioned activities presented plenty of amusing/humorous/cute photo ops as well!)

The little speck dude out there is Adam, boogeyboarding. (I'm sure I totally butchered the spelling on that one, but the closest word Blogger's spellchecker suggests is "keyboarding" - which doesn't capture the essence of the activity very well.) So anyway, Adam spent a lot of time doing this, and it looked like a lot of fun! The waves and current were a bit much for the rest of us, though.

Grandma and Levi playing in the sand. Levi thought the waves were a bit scary today.

Smiley, sandy baby!

Drake enjoyed writing his name, and other things, in the sand with a stick.

The finished masterpiece!

Flying a kite! I should have included a picture of the way it was being flown. On a fishing pole. In a pole holder. Stuck in the sand. We like to be unorthodox around here.

The Fam! Daddy, Mommy, Drake, and Levi

Grandpa and Grandma with the boys!

So anyway...we're having a fantastic time! And now you know why I've been too busy to post for awhile. More to come. (Eventually!)

October 15th

Today was a very busy day for us, as we are so blessed right now to have my parents visiting us from the other side of the country! In fact, in a few minutes I will be posting more pictures of our visit to the beach this afternoon. However, amidst all the hustle and bustle, I found a small amount of time to reflect on all this day means to me.

As I'm sure most are aware, Adam and I are actually the parents of four children, two of whom are quietly missing from our lives on this earth. Our first two babies, Sam and Clayton, were miscarried and stillborn, respectively. Their story can be found here.

The movement toward making Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day "official" began shortly before our losses occurred. I found myself becoming involved in this cause as a way to channel the love I had for my babies into something constructive. It was a way to validate the feelings I had, to keep me from going crazy when something so deep and real as a mother's love seemed completely out of place in a home with no children living there. My reasons for involvement were almost completely selfish, and once the wound was no longer gaping, I was happy to move on to more tangible things, namely caring for baby Drake. But whatever the reason, and for whatever timeframe, the portion of my life devoted to Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day will never be forgotten.

I've never been in contact with a governor before or since, but for two years in a row after Clayton's death, I had personal e-mail correspondence with the governor of the enormously populated state of North Dakota! And we have in our home two official proclamations from the State of North Dakota, signed by the governor, stating facts on pregnancy and infant loss, and that October 15th of those two years was to be officially set aside as a day of remembrance. It was a bitter, yet sweet time in my life.

I remember the sweetness of God's hand upon me, and though I was only beginning to recognize Him and to know Him, He was (and of course, still is) ultimately patient with me, leading me gently to a greater understanding of His glory and goodness.

I am very much out of the loop now with Remembrance Day, and aside from quietly remembering my little ones, I don't really do anything special on October 15th. However, I know that several years ago, a resolution was finally passed by the U.S. House of Representatives making Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day both national and permanent, removing the need for annual state proclamations, like the ones I was able to secure for North Dakota in 2002 and 2003. It is a cause that is - however quietly - very dear to my heart, because it marks the most difficult leg of my journey into motherhood.

Today, I thank the Lord for all four of the children I have carried, some longer than others. We are so blessed to be raising two of them. While we were at the beach this afternoon, I helped Drake and Levi each make footprints in the sand. The tide was high, and washed their footprints away not long after I took this picture. I was thinking today that the picture will help me remember details like the color of the sand, the brightness of the sun, and the small size of their feet. And having a day like October 15th will always help me to stop and remember the details of a couple of years of my life that I might otherwise want to forget, but for the hand of God upon them.

Catching up

Hello again, bloggy friends! It's been awhile! Now that it's Thursday, I'm finally getting around to telling you a little about our weekend. The biggest highlight was a visit from our friend, Dave, who is on a TDY (Temporary Duty) for training about 3 hours from here. Yes, this is the same friend who, just a few short months ago, left this area for a new assignment in Alaska! It has been a little hard seeing him again without his family (sniff, sniff), but we are oh, so thankful that he's here with us nonetheless. He will probably be coming to stay with us for many of the weekends over the next month. Yay!!

The other important advancement this weekend was the purchase of a new dryer. Last Thursday night, Adam and I decided we would try to fix our old dryer! Ha! We are so funny. We took the thing almost completely apart, and were so pleased with ourselves several hours later when we finally got it put back together. We found that the heating element thingy in the back of the dryer was missing a screw and had slipped out of place, so we were hoping that by putting it back where it should be, our problems might be at least partially solved. (You would not believe the amount of lint that can collect in every crevice of a 7-year-old dryer. Let's just say that we have not been dog owners for over 5 years, and we found a bunch of dog hair!)

So anyway, after it's all cleaned out and put back together, we finally got it all hooked back up, turned it on, and it started up! We were thrilled...success at last! (And we didn't even want to do bodily harm to each other by the end of the project. For us, that can be an accomplishment in itself!) So anyway, we stopped it and thought about trying it out with a load of clothes in it to see if they would get nice and warm and dry...however, when we tried to turn it back on, nothing happened! We had this very same problem a year or two back (dryer not starting) and it cost us $80 to fix it, which we were not about to sink into a cheap, ancient dryer again.

Soooo, Saturday afternoon, Adam embarked on a quest to find a new dryer. To make a long story short, he found the perfect dryer for me at a deeply discounted price at the BX. It had been separated from its box somewhere along the line, and had some "imperfections" on the outside. So my wheelin'-and-dealin' hubby talked the manager into giving us $50 off initially, and then 25% off that! (I would SO not have done that...but this is why my husband talks to car salesmen instead of me.) So it was a great deal, and it's a really nice dryer. It even has a low heat cycle, something our old one was lacking. Very, very thankful!

The handyman hard at work

Look what my knight in shining armor brought home!

And what woman in her right mind posts TWO pictures of a new dryer on her blog? One who is deeply in love.

Dave brought with him some hat pins for Drake's collection. (Alaska and Green Bay.) Drake was completely stoked!! Dave even brought Levi his very first hat pin, too! So we really need to find a hat for Levi to start putting his pins on. (Our favorite Alaskans are huge Packers fans, and actually made a pilgrimage to Green Bay, WI on their way up to Alaska. We love you guys!)

7 things...

I've been tagged by Kristen to list 7 little-known facts about myself on my blog. This is actually harder than it sounds, because so many of the important people in my life read this blog. So I won't be surprised at all if some of you know these things already. But anyway, here we go!

1. I have a major sweet tooth. Seriously. Major. Like hide the candy and pastries and bags of Oreo cookies when I come to visit - or else. I have even been known to eat brown sugar straight from the bag. And I have also eaten an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting.

2. I am not a member of a church. The church fellowship we attend - and love - doesn't even have membership. Someday we may be in a situation where we are regularly attending a church that encourages or requires membership to be an active participant, and I am unsure of how I will handle that situation.

3. I was engaged as a high school senior, and married a year later at age 19.

4. I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant with Levi! 150 all the way up to 210. (Incidentally, I also weighed 210 when Drake was born, but I started that pregnancy quite a bit heavier to begin with, so the weight gain wasn't as drastic.)

5. I cry at the drop of a hat. Wish that wasn't the case, but it is.

6. I live just a few minutes from the beach, but hardly ever go. Someday I will regret this.

7. I love to play Super Mario World on my almost 20-year-old Super Nintendo that I bought with my own money when I was a kid. I don't really care much about any other video games, but I could spend an entire day playing Super Mario World. Sometimes Drake and I play it together, and I am secretly happy that he is afraid of "dying" and lets me play his guy on almost all the levels!

So how did I do? Surprise anyone? Now I tag Dorla!

Daniel study, Take 2

Last night I had the privilege of talking with one of my favorite people in the world until the wee hours of the morning. (And just for the record, it was totally worth it.) One of the things we talked about reminded me of a post I have been wanting to make on here, having to do with the subject of "image building," among other things.

I got a bit off track the last time I started to blog about the Bible study I’m participating in. I ended up telling the story of King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream and its fulfillment. Which I totally love, by the way! But I really wanted to briefly overview some of the points that Beth Moore has made so far in the study that have really spoken to me. Briefly. I’m totally serious. I have every intention of being brief. Wish me luck. (And keep in mind that these ideas are not mine - I'm just giving a recap of some really cool stuff I've learned from this study.)

-- Our western culture today is similar to the culture of the Babylonians, where Daniel was taken as a captive to serve King Nebuchadnezzar. Babylon’s mentality, demonstrated again and again in scripture is: "I am, and there is none besides me." (Isaiah 47:8,10 and others) (I can’t help but liken this to the "It’s All About Me" t-shirts and attitudes you see everywhere today! Believing that I, myself, am the most important thing in the universe is poisonous.)

-- As a parallel to the Babylonians who took captive the young, handsome, intelligent sons of Israelite nobility when they conquered Jerusalem, our culture is also extremely concerned with age/youth, physical appearance, intelligence, and status. We feel very "less-than" when we can’t or don’t meet our Babylon’s standards for "worthiness".

-- Many Hebrew youths were taken, including Daniel and his friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (who we know primarily by their Babylonian names, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego). Babylon tried to indoctrinate them with intense study in magic/witchcraft, and excesses of every kind, but God Himself interpreted all they learned to their hearts - they were able to stand firm in their beliefs and priorities despite incredible pressures and temptations. Day after day. Year after year. There were many other young Israelite men taken with Daniel and his friends who were eventually absorbed into their new culture...they had so conformed that there was no mention of them in scripture after that point.

-- The statue in King Nebuchadnezzar’s first dream is fulfilled prophecy! (I made this point the last time, but that was about the only point made!)

-- When Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah were delivered by the Lord from the fiery furnace, nothing on them was singed (hair, clothing, etc.) except the ropes that bound their hands! A difficult trial can sometimes free us from an area of bondage, too.

-- There was not even a smell of smoke about them! Full deliverance means no longer "smelling like fire." (Convicting. How often do we carry that smoky smell of bitterness or self-pity around with us long after being delivered from the fire? Can we cease dwelling on our past trials enough that someone who finds out about them after knowing us a little would be surprised that we had been through what we’ve been through - that we don’t even "smell like fire"?)

-- When we are faced with a seriously difficult trial, we can be delivered from the fire (immediate healing, etc.), through the fire (survive by the skin of our teeth, but live to tell about it), or by the fire (into the arms of our Lord in heaven). Either way, Jesus walks beside us with every step.

-- Pride comes in many forms, but usually falls into one of two categories: performance (what I do) or abstinence (what I don’t do). Satan is sneaky and cruel, and he will try to twist even areas of joy and victory into pride and bondage.

Okay, I need to stop for now. I’m copying these ideas from the front inside cover of my book, where I’ve been jotting down some of the points that really struck me. There are still a few more to go, but for brevity’s sake (hmmm...that goal is already quickly slipping away from me at this point!) I’ll stop for now.

But here is the one in particular that I wanted to talk a little more about - image building. Here I quote Beth Moore: "The inspiration for building an image doesn’t come from the Spirit. ...for us, image building is any way we intentionally make ourselves seem different - and usually more - than we really are. Image building is the attempt to make impressions that are bigger than we are. Image building may begin with what is true but enhances that truth until it is a lie." This image building that she speaks of is bred of insecurity, and insecurity is magnified by living in our modern-day "Babylon."

I don’t know about you, but this is such a major, major struggle for me. I want to be the mom who has it all together, who is wise and kind and mature and loving, who relishes her job as a homemaker and excells in it, who doesn’t let her kids watch too much TV and always provides a healthy snack of carrot sticks and whole wheat bread to her kindergartner after school, who diligently prepares meals for her family every evening and never picks fights with her husband, who never wonders if she might be in over her head or questions whether her kids might be better off with someone else, who always has a clean house and reads her Bible every day, oh and while we’re at it, who loves to organize things and to exercise. Yeah, that’s what I want to be. But I’m not. I’m actually not any of those things. At least not all the time.

So last night, we were talking about this, and we wondered...what about those super-people who seem to have it all together? Between the two of us, we know quite a few of them. And some of them we know well enough to know that it’s real - at least some of it. (By real, I mean that their house IS actually really clean all the time, and not just when they know someone is coming to visit...they actually DO sit down as a family after supper and read long chapter books or Bible passages to their children who all listen quietly - even the 2-year-old.) But I think that everyone has areas in their own life that they see as a glaring failure, or at least in need of a lot of improvement. Maybe they’re just not as obvious as mine. And maybe mine aren’t really as obvious to everyone else as I think they are. If that’s the case, which I suspect it is, then I am building a false image of myself, and I am in sin. So I continue to struggle in presenting the true me to the world, complete with plenty of flaws, and risk judgment and ridicule and those awkward silences where you know someone thinks you’re totally incompetent.

But who do we love more, the person we admire for all his/her success and perfection - or the person who is truthful enough (or who we’re close enough to) to show us his/her struggles and what they’re learning from them?

(If you’re still reading at this point, bless your dear soul! You possess much tenacity!)

I choose truth. But for me, it’s a constant struggle and a conscious choice that must be made every day. It is so easy to slip into image building...one exaggeration or omission at a time. To God be the glory when things go well, but His grace is sufficient when I’m not all that I dearly want to be.

Are clothes really necessary?

We've started wearing less clothes. To be more precise, we're going through less clothes each day.

See, what happened is...a few days ago, our dryer decided it was done heating the clothes as it dries them. And it also decided it's not going to time the dry cycles, either - the clothes just tumble for all eternity, or until someone decides to get them out. Cold and, usually, still wet.

So until we decide whether to try and fix the dryer (again) or get a new one, I've been hanging all our laundry outside until it's pretty dry, and then bringing it in to tumble in the (cold) dryer for 20 or 30 minutes. All this makes the laundry seem like, well, much more of a big deal. No longer is matching socks the most annoying part of doing the laundry. Oh, no. Hanging each sock with a clothespin and then taking each one back down is more time consuming by far. Then I get to match them. Hence the tightening of the rules on clothes-wearing. If it doesn't stink or look too dirty, it's not dirty enough to wash!

But I will admit I am getting a certain bizarre satisfaction out of hanging clothes. As far as backyards go, there is nothing homier than a clothesline full of laundry blowing in the breeze. So while I definitely feel the additional time being used on this task, I am - for now - enjoying the quaintness. Which is probably not a real word, but you get my drift. But, I'm sure my days of happy clothespinning are numbered. In another day or two, I'll probably be completely sick of it and begging for a new dryer!

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Here's my diaper load (minus the covers and pocket diapers*, which I always hang inside, anyway, so I didn't bother bringing them out). Even after tumbling in the dryer for half an hour or so at the end, these diapers were still pretty stiff, so that's a bummer. One of my favorite things about cotton diapers is how soft they are - and line drying seems to take away that element. Oh well, it works for now. (Don't look too closely or you will notice the older son trying to clothespin the baby's ear...)

I had to leave a "hole" near the bottom of the slide!

Drake loves to help hang laundry and take it down again. (Again, I'm sure this is because it's a novelty...if it were a daily chore he'd probably avoid it like the plague!)

Monkey see, monkey do!

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* Pocket diapers - cloth diapers with a waterproof fabric on the outside and usually a polyester "stay-dry" fabric inside, designed with an opening in the back to "stuff" the diaper with desired absorbancy. These are often used at night, when a LOT of absorbancy is required. For more cloth diaper info, see my Diaper Pin link on the sidebar or click here for their diaper dictionary.

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P.S. - Sorry most of these pics aren't "clickable" - I didn't do it right when loading them, but it can't be corrected without starting over...and that's NOT gonna happen!