Schooling and misc. updates

I haven't talked about our schooling dilemma since I first brought it up at the beginning of February. We actually made a decision not too long after that, but it took awhile to get all the family notified. (I sound like a newspaper reporting a death, don't I?)

Anyway, not long after that post, we made the decision to homeschool next year. Originally, the decision felt more like the lesser of two evils, but since that time, we've actually become pretty excited about it! We're really looking forward to the opportunity to teach our own children! But, instead of the peaceful feeling of closure I was expecting, well...now we've got a lot more decisions coming up regarding exactly how we're going to do this thing! As many of you are aware (probably moreso than I was a couple of months ago), there are a lot of different methods or "schools of thought" about the process of home education - and even the purpose for it. Then beyond that, there is a giant sea of curriculum choices to wade through.

But, it's actually kinda fun! We're getting a pretty good idea of the basic approach we're planning to take, and starting to narrow down curriculum options. I have been wisely advised that one of the most important qualities in homeschooling is the ability to be flexible - if something just isn't working, try something else! I will try to take that to heart as we begin this journey.

Drake will finish out the year at his current elementary school, and we'll officially begin our homeschool in the fall. But we've already started working on some reading curriculum at home that's more specific to our own approach, and plan to do the same with handwriting before the year is out. We hope to continue both of those throughout the summer, and then begin the rest of the subjects in August. Drake also wants to learn to play the piano "for real" - so that's another summertime aspiration, to begin some official piano lessons (from me, to start with).

So those are our plans...but I must keep that flexibility thing in mind. (It's all subject to change!) I just wanted to give an update on what's been going on in the "schooling" arena, since I left you all hanging.

And I want to put this out there right now, too, since I'm thinking about it: I refuse to become a "snobby" homeschooler. I have been frustrated and hurt in the past, as a public school mommy, by certain homeschoolers who have implied that their choice was superior to mine, or that I somehow care less about my children than they do. I vow to never act that way. I do not believe that homeschooling is right for everyone. I do not believe that the way we do decide to do anything at our house is the only "right" way. I want to be a defender of anyone who has labored over their schooling options for their children (and of those who don't really have options), no matter what decision they make. Each individual and each family has a unique purpose and mission and place in the body of Christ and in reaching the world.

Okay, on a little lighter note! These some other needed updates, since I've been such a bad blogger lately:

• Baseball practice has started for Drake, and he's loving it! I'll try to post some pictures of that soon.
• Levi had his 24-month appointment (finally) and he has been officially approved a healthy two-year-old...he doesn't have to go back for another check-up until he's three! This is really a blessing for us, as he's been in to the clinic for check-ups every one to three months since he was about nine months old, because of slow weight gain and slower-than-average crawling/walking. But he is progressing at his own "normal"- and he is perfect just the way God made him!
• Drake's AWANA Games were today (kinda like AWANA Olympics or something), and it was a lot of fun to watch. Drake's group placed second, and he was very excited about it! Unfortunately, I forgot our camera. But I was able to borrow a friend's camera for a picture of all the kids at the end, so I'm happy about that...even though I tripped and fell on this weird lip around the gym floor when I was trying to take the picture! It was very graceful, let me tell you. I was glad the borrowed camera survived the fall!
• Ummmm...I think that's it. My sweet Levi is waking up from his nap now, so I'm signing off. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Choices

I'm taking a risk as I write this. In fact, after having written most of it, I'm wondering whether I should actually post it. The thing is, there are readers of this blog on each end of the spectrum I'm about to discuss (some of you WAY out there on both sides). I'm doing this mainly to share my heart with you, and to let you know where we are in one of the big decisions we're making. There has been no decision made yet, but we are plowing through mountains of pros and cons, and praying fervently that the Lord would make His will clear to us - that we would not make any decisions based on convenience, pressure from others, or long-standing beliefs we've held forever without knowing why. We're trying to slice through the fluff and get to the heart of the matter - and boy, is there ever a lot of fluff involved. But there's a lot of heart, too.

I'm talking about our children's education. As everyone is well aware, Drake has been in kindergarten at a local public school this year. Overall, I am satisfied with it, at least for the most part. Academically, he is not struggling; behaviorally, he is doing fine. But weaving in and out and around this school year has been a gnawing feeling inside me that something isn't right about it. Maybe it's because he spends over 7 hours a day outside of our influence - more hours than he's (awake) at home on weekdays. Maybe it's because his joys and anxieties reflect priorities in his little heart that shouldn't even be registering on the "important" scale. Maybe it's because I have this recurring thought that I could teach him more, in half the time. And he'd have more fun. And do less coloring worksheets...coloring upon coloring. Maybe it's because we have had two "clashes" (polite ones!) with school activities/policies already this year, including one last week that involved something (briefly) shown on a video in the cafeteria (which I just happened to see), that I won't even describe on this blog. Because we're a G-rated blog around here!

And to show for the 700 hours he's now spent there since the beginning of the school year, what does he know that he didn't know before? The big one: he knows how to read simple words and simple storybooks, which has been really exciting! Ummm...he also knows how to write his name faster than he used to (from writing it on all the coloring pages). He knows that he is not very good at coloring, because several of the kids tell him so every day. He knows all about Martin Luther King, Jr. He knows how to deal with disappointments a little better, like when he doesn't get invited to a classmate's birthday party and his best friend does. He knows how to interact comfortably with kids of different genders and races and social statuses (but I think he did that fine before this year, anyway). He knows about all the latest toys, even without seeing commercials on cable TV, because his classmates talk about them and bring them for show-and-tell. He knows how to check books out from the library all by himself. He knows a lot of new games from his favorite activity - P.E.!

Nothing else major is coming to mind. And 700 hours is a lot of time! So I'm left wondering: is "good enough" really good enough? Is this just first-year-of-school-mommy-worries? Should my belief that godly parents be the main shaping influence in a child's life carry over beyond age 5? And if so, how can that truly be accomplished in a "school" setting? When he gets off the bus at around 3:30pm, he's hungry and squirrelly from sitting still and walking in straight lines all day. So he eats a snack and goes outside to play, usually until almost supper time. Then we eat supper, put Levi to bed, hang out with Drake for an hour or so, and put him to bed. And start all over the next day. Parental influence consists of asking questions about the day at school and filtering through the answers with him...of discipline and chores...and of constantly asking him to keep his voice down at the dinner table and Eat Your Food! It's a barely-make-it-through-the-day way to live, and it doesn't feel right. Add homework in a few years, and there will be even less interaction.

The primary reason I'm a stay-at-home mom is not so I can have a spotless house. (Good thing, huh?) It's so I can be the one raising my own children, teaching them about Jesus, instilling values in them, providing discipline in their lives, answering the tough questions. I thought I'd be ready to relinquish some of that responsibility when it was time to start school, but the truth is, I am jealous for my children's hearts! I want my boys to grow up learning to pray without ceasing. I want them to grow up seeing everything through the lens of truth, in everything they do - knowing that we're nothing apart from God's grace. I don't want to waste a moment for reminding them to think of others before themselves, or that loving the Lord and loving their neighbors are the most important things in life. I want them to grow into godly men who know how to interact with their culture efficiently and without fear, because they've seen it for what it is, and not through the lens of artificial "socialization" that comes with the traditional classroom setting. (In what other situation in life do we interact with groups of people who are all exactly our age and know the same things? That's what I mean by artificial socialization.) (Thanks, CB!)

In essence, we're considering homeschooling, and I didn't expect to be saying that even a few months ago. As much as I dislike certain things regarding the homeschooling community, we are indeed considering it. And considering one year of it only, at this point. If we end up going that road, there will be much more "considering" going on before it's a permanent fixture in our lives. And you might very well see Drake heading back to M.E. Elementary next year for first grade. There is no doubt in my mind that many families are called by God to be lights in the public school system, just as many families are called by Him to homeschool. Like I said, nothing has been decided, only questions being raised at this point. We could use prayer more than advice, unless you have a really unique perspective that you'd like to share. (And keep in mind, if the education choice you prefer has always seemed fairly obvious to you, you haven't been where we are now.)

Thanks for listening. It's been a lot to think about lately!

Brothers

I had the distinct pleasure of watching my boys play together last night. It was rough, "boy" play, and so heartwarming! Levi calls Drake "Buddy" now - we think he's trying to say "Brother" and that's how it comes out. So he was running and Drake was chasing and catching him, carrying him over to the couch and flopping him up onto it - over and over and over - amidst squeals of "Buddy!" and peals of laughter. What a joy they are!

Drake went back to school this week, and "Buddy" was a constant topic of conversation for Levi and me yesterday. Levi would approach me, asking, "Buddy?" and nodding his head with his eyebrows raised, as if hoping I could somehow produce Drake from behind a chair or something. I would remind him that Drake got on the bus this morning, and the bus took him to school (a place Levi has been many times). That would satisfy him for a few minutes, and then it would begin all over again!

This week will be a little stressful for our family. Adam and I have severely nasty coughs, and there's a lot going on for us. I may be able to elaborate at a later date. But anyway, I am taking the time now to be truly thankful for my caring husband and my two precious children, and to renew my mind to the idea that I am only the steward of these children. They do not belong to me, but to the Lord. Raising them is the most important and difficult thing I will ever do, but they are not mine. Our family rests in the hands of God; may He shape us as He wills.

I will hold on to these sweet moments of little-boyhood and never forget them.

Classroom helper

Today I had my first volunteer experience at Drake’s elementary school! It was a little crazy, and I have to say that I now have a new appreciation and respect for Drake’s kindergarten teacher. It’s a difficult thing to be in charge of 21 little people who are often loud and distracted and excitable. Yikes!

My first "job" was making copies. I did this for almost an hour, and still didn’t finish all the copies I was supposed to be making. But eventually, two out of the three copy machines were being uncooperative, and I was almost out of paper anyway, so I decided to call it quits.

During that time, I went through almost two full reams of copy paper! Elementary schools must be a very disturbing place for those who are concerned about killing trees. (Tree slaughter was definitely in full swing.) Be thankful for paper recycling - they do a lot of that too, it looked like.

When the kids were at P.E. and Library, Mrs. Gardner told me that Drake was very intelligent and inquisitive. "You obviously read to him a lot at home, and expose him to a lot of speech," she said. Ha ha, that kid talks more than the rest of the house combined! I told her he had always been a talker, and she said that his vocabulary and pronunciation were exceptional. She did seem to agree about him talking a lot though - she said that when he answers a question, he goes way around the answer first and then finally says what she’s expecting to hear. That doesn’t surprise me.

(But I wonder if telling every volunteer parent that their child is "intelligent" is just a ploy to keep them coming back to make more copies!)

After that, I got to do a project outside with the kids - sponge painting, two at a time. That’s two kids, not two sponges each, praise the Lord! To their credit, some were very neat and careful, but there was an awful lot of paint on skin by the time we were through!

Then I got to take them outside again, individually, and "make" a little book with them. Then they "read" it to me. ("Make" and "read" are in quotes, because they didn’t really do either one, but something similar.) They folded a page from their reading workbooks in half, to make a sort of brochure-type book. Then, on each page, they read the sight words I can and identified a picture of a child doing some type of activity. ("I can eat. I can brush. I can read. I can sleep." Wow, I have the book memorized!)

I had the joy of spending a little time with a very sweet and intelligent non-English speaking girl. When I called her name to come outside for the painting project, Mrs. Gardner said, "Oh, she doesn’t speak English." Perfect! At least her language of choice was Spanish and not German or French or something else, because then we would have had a bit more difficulty. But as it was, we got along just fine. I greeted her in Spanish and asked her how she was doing. She looked surprised and asked me if I spoke Spanish. Just a little bit, I told her. She was the only child in the class who wrote her first and last name when asked to "write your name," and her penmanship was amazing for a kindergartner. I did not hear a word of English out of her mouth, and I spoke to her almost exclusively in Spanish; I have the feeling that she indeed speaks almost no English.

When it was time for her to come out again to fold the little book and read it to me, I couldn’t remember the Spanish verb "to fold," so I asked her and she told me. We "read" her book in Spanish and in English, and I felt good that she could see the similarities in the sentence structures. I am looking forward to coming back in two more weeks to talk with her again! At that age, and being in a completely English-speaking classroom for 6-1/2 hours every day, I imagine she will learn English pretty quickly.

Drake was so excited that I was there, and so very sad when I had to leave. We had talked ahead of time about how he should behave when I was in his classroom (and he did that very well!), and I also made sure he understood that I had to leave when his class went to the cafeteria for lunch. But when lunchtime came, he looked shocked as he realized that it was "already" time for me to go home. He was brokenhearted, and he cried, wanting me to hold him on my lap.

It was so hard to see him so sad, and to make him stand in line at the door. I told him I would come sit with him for a couple of minutes in the cafeteria, and then I would leave after he calmed down. So he sniffled his way down the hall in his line, and Mrs. Gardner walked next to him with her arm around him. While he was getting his food in the hot lunch line, she came over to me and expressed her surprise at how upset he was! She said he’d never acted sad before, but that it was understandable that he would miss me when I had to leave.

Once Drake and I sat down together at a separate table from all the kids, and got to talk one on one, he calmed down pretty easily. Food always makes a big difference in his mood, and I think he really just needed to eat something. We had fun being a little silly - I spread some of his mashed potatoes and gravy on his roll, since there was no butter. (He said it was very tasty that way!) After about ten minutes, I helped him get situated in his regular spot at the lunch table with his class, and I left. He was totally fine with it! (Big sigh of relief!)

Then I went and picked up Levi from our neighbor, Jennifer's, house. She will watch him every other week for me to go in and volunteer, and I will watch her son, Andrew (age 3), every other week so she can go in. It seems like a good plan, so hopefully it will work out well. Her older son, Tyler, is in the same class as Drake.

Jennifer said Levi did really well this morning; no big surprise, I guess. But he sure was happy to see me when I came in the door to pick him up! And he was so tired that he fell asleep in his highchair eating lunch when we got home!

Kindergarten!

Drake’s First Day of Kindergarten
(as told by Drake after getting off the bus)

It was so long! And I was really hungry! It was a long day! My hands hurt from writing three times and I tried to tell my teachers that I'm just a little kid, but they didn’t understand. I don’t like it. First I colored and then I had to listen to the rules of the P.R.S. - what’s that called? (You mean P.E.?) Yeah, P.E.! And Jessica* didn’t have a good day. (Why not?) They had to tell her lots of times not to do stuff and she said "NO, NO, NO!" I only got a few no’s, but I said "okay." One time they made her pick up everybody's pencils at her whole table!

Then we had to go back and do circle time - it was a LONG time. I wanted to sit by Tyler but there were two other kids in between us on our marks, and we said, "Why did the teacher do that?" After that we had to do lots of things. Then lunch. I had chocolate milk! You can pick if you want even chocolate or strawberry!

I didn't cry at all, but I almost did at lunchtime because a lot of the other mommies and daddies came and you weren't there. I wanted to go home. I kept saying, "Can I go home yet?" and the teacher said, "No." I missed you a lot today.

Then we had to go to the playground, but it was really short! I played Sonic with Tyler and Christopher and another boy, and we chased a girl, but her brother tried to get us. We only had a few minutes of playground time and that was my favorite part. This day was the hardest thing of my life. Then nap, and I couldn't fall asleep because everyone was making noise and the music was too loud. Jessica was crying the whole time and everyone said, "STOP, we’re trying to sleep!" They told us no talking during sleepy time so I didn’t say anything.

Then we went outside to wait for the bus and all the other classes [buses] left and we kept saying, "Where’s my bus? I wanna go home!" And then Jessica got in trouble by the bus lady for getting out of her seat again and again and again and again, and the lady said if she did it again she would get sent to the principal’s office tomorrow. I only got out of my seat one time because I forgot. Then I saw you and Levi and I said "That’s my mommy and my little brother!" and I got off the bus!

The end.

*name has been changed to protect the (ahem) innocent

Getting ready to go!

Settling in

Getting off the bus! Drake was wiped out after his big day today!

More miscellaneous ramblings

It seems I've been doing a lot of that lately!

We had another little party for Drake today after church (with just our family). Cupcakes and ice cream, and three gifts. Drake received a real watch from Grandpa and Grandma S. (with a cool camouflage watchband and a "floating" helicopter second hand - he's already sort of telling time by himself a few hours later!) and a Leapster and a Sonic the Hedgehog math game for it from Mommy and Daddy! He is busy playing the Leapster as we speak. I guess we're about to discover how quickly that thing goes through batteries!

Yesterday we all went bowling - it was a lot of fun, but more expensive than we were expecting. I think it is more cost effective to play more than one game each time you go (when you're renting shoes), but Levi could only tolerate one game, since it was about his naptime. No one broke a hundred. (When a "good" score is breaking one hundred points, well, you know what caliber of bowlers we are!) Levi actually bowled - with a little help, of course! It was so cute! Drake did really well working on holding the ball correctly and all that, but he was kind of sad that he didn't get any strikes or spares.

Then yesterday afternoon, Adam and Drake worked on a "bug house" project they've been thinking up for some time. It has a wood frame with screen sides. I think it will be really cool when it's done! It was mostly Adam working on it so far, because there was a lot of cutting with the circular saw to be done first. Drake is not a fan of loud noises, so he kept his distance when that was going on!

Tomorrow is the first day of kindergarten, and I'll be sure to update how that goes. The plan is that Drake will ride the bus to and from school tomorrow. This is not easy for Mommy!! But Drake is pretty excited about it. The little neighbor girl who just moved in next door (into Dave & Cherie's house) is also in kindergarten and will be riding the bus, too.

What are the chances of this?... Out of five kindergarten classes at the school, Drake, Lizzie (the little neighbor girl), and Tyler (Drake's friend who lives behind us) are all in the same class! Odd. Anyway, we met Mrs. Gardner, his teacher, at an orientation on Thursday, and she seems really nice. The classroom looks organized and exciting, and it just appears to me, so far, that everything is as it should be. A big relief!

I will be sure to keep you posted about the first day of school tomorrow!