We're having company in a few days, so I've started thinking about preparing for that. And we're also having Drake's 6th birthday party here a week from tomorrow. So yesterday afternoon, I went into the playroom and sat down in the middle of the floor, sorting toys. Army men with the army men, Transformers with the Transformers, baby toys in the baby toy bins, and all the miscellaneous stuff....ummm....over here in these drawers. Now, admittedly I should have had Drake doing it, or at least helping me, but I just didn't feel like I could handle any more battles with him yesterday.
So I was in there sorting, and Drake came in, and asked in a horrified voice, "Mommy, what are you doing?"
"I'm cleaning up the playroom," I told him.
"No," he whined, "Don't do that! I like it this way!" pointing to the toy-scattered landscape.
"But isn't it easier to find things when it's all cleaned up?"
"No, it's easier to find them when I can see them all! I don't want you to clean it!"
I was surprised, to say the least. Unfortunately, I sort of expect that kind of reaction when he's the one doing the cleaning, but I was cleaning it myself! If he doesn't even like things picked up when someone else is willing to do it for him, how am I ever going to get him motivated to keep his stuff picked up on his own?
How I would love to have a maid!! But apparently my son would rather live in clutter. Neither of us actually enjoys picking stuff up, but at least I like it when things are organized! Perhaps that's an acquired trait?
I know I'm setting myself up for all kinds of derision and advice by posting something like this, but I am weary. I know that I am the parent - "the boss" - but after awhile I feel like there is a mutiny going on, and it's such a battle to deal with the same sinful attitude issues in my kids over and over again. Consistency is the key; I know this. And I need to not give in or back down (and not do things like clean something up myself that I should have Drake doing, only because I can do it 10 times faster and because I don't want to listen to his protests).
Often, Drake is a sweet, helpful kid who thinks of others before himself. And then there are times like now. I don't feel like we're doing anything different with him, but it saddens and disappoints me when he can't get along with his playmates, whines and complains about everything all day, says mean things to his brother, and the list goes on. I am apprehensive about him starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, because I really don't want him to get off on the wrong foot with his teacher and classmates, but his whole disposition has been so "sour" lately. I know there is a kind, sweet, hard-working little boy in there somewhere. Where did he go?
But really, I see many of the same attitude problems that he is displaying reflected in my own heart, and I'm not too efficient at getting rid of them either. I complain a lot too, often inwardly, but that doesn't make it any better. I can be lazy too - I don't want to do things that seem overwhelming to me. So I understand it. I really do. But I think we find it even harder to deal with sin in others that we ourselves struggle with. Maybe because it seems more hopeless?
Yesterday I took the TV away indefinitely. You would think the entire world had ended. Then a little while ago, I told him I was about to take "play" away from him, too, if he could not be thankful for it and stop complaining. I guess I had better get to thinking of lots of chores he can do this afternoon. I pray that I will not have to take it quite that far...
1 comment:
Oh, the life of a mommy! I can SO relate! Sometimes, when we are faced with wrong attitudes in our children, it may seem that the load we carry is just too heavy because we know the danger in continuing with those attitudes! I deal with this often too and have also thought about how Ben will act with the other children when he begins K and gets frustrated with them or when he is just in a bad mood. I know that we need to be an good example to them with our actions and words(very difficult when we are struggling ourselves.) I think though, that it is just as important to PRAY for each wrong attitude as we become aware of them. Just as God changes our attitudes when we confess and ask for help, he can do the same for our children. It seems to really sink in when I pray WITH them ~ specifically about a certain attitude or action that they have had and also point out that I struggle with those same things but that God can help us (when we ask Him) to do, say and think things that will bring Him glory when we cannot help ourselves.
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